The InDependent Wellness Summit is our free, annual online event for all military and first responder spouses – past, present, and future. Learn more about the program here.
Day 1 of the InDependent Wellness Summit kicked things off strong with inspiring interviews about cultivating belonging and discovering yourself as a military spouse.
The 2025 Summit is all about Cultivating Connections in our daily lives as military spouses. Times have changed and there is a loneliness epidemic. We all crave connection, so this summit is perfectly timed for all of us to learn and connect while doing so!
CULTIVATE BELONGING – CHARLES VOGL
Our first interviewee of this amazing week was Charles Vogl, advisor, speaker, and author of 3 books, including the international best-seller The Art of Community. Vogl is a founding member of Google’s Vitality Lab, where he works towards innovating healing strategies.
When Google realized pre-pandemic that they would spend billions on healthcare for their employees, they knew there had to be another way. Vogl was one of the thought leaders charged with this mission.
His solution: a series called Campfire Conversations. Doesn’t that make you want to pull up a camp chair and stick to roast marshmallows? He recognized that people just needed a place to connect and talk intimately – even with co-workers, aka your “professional family.” It’s the same for military communities.
People still long for connection, but so much has gone virtual and things have changed. “Having more friends on social media does not improve your life, but having more in person does.” Vogl imagines a world where “we would ALL have no fewer than 3 people to call on in a time of need. “We would all feel safer; more resilient.” As military spouses, we all know how hard that question about emergency contacts can be to answer.
We need to truly build community, which Vogl defines as “a group of people who share mutual concern for one another.” Like anything, building this takes effort and intentionality.
It can be challenging in a time when people want to “skip an invitation.” Whether you’re hosting a military spouse event or a casual dinner party, it’s important to create “campfire experiences.” But people don’t know how to create them anymore. Vogl shares some great hosting tips.
You’ll have to listen to hear all the tips, but consider how many people you will invite. Hint: smaller is better.
How you invite people matters, too. Did you invite them or make an announcement? People want to know you want them there. He shared a story about how a personal text invitation was misinterpreted by the recipient as a REALLY good auto-send. The friend was used to receiving “announcements” and wondered how Vogl made it seem so personal. “Little did I know, I was fighting a presupposition that this was not a personal invitation where I genuinely was inviting him because I wanted to spend time with him,” Vogl shared. People have become so used to invitations that announce an event rather than a real invitation directed to them.
Vogl and his family host dinners at their home one to three times a week. They keep it casual, often with a favorite brand of frozen pizza! They collect phones and create a space that invites open conversation. You’ll have to listen to hear his story about what happens when you invite a young vegan over for dinner!
We have so many opportunities to connect with others around us and so much to learn from each other at a time like this.
Let us follow Vogl’s lead and invite five people you’d like to spend time with over to share a frozen pizza and conversation!
CULTIVATE SELF-DISCOVERY – KELLIE ARTIS
The second interview dives into why it’s so important to stay in tune with yourself through all the stages and challenges that come with a military lifestyle. Kellie Artis, a 21-year Army Special Operations spouse, helps high-achieving women understand their core motivations and behaviors utilizing the Enneagram tool. She has been featured on Fox News and Military.com for her work helping military spouses understand themselves, their purpose, and get more clarity on their experiences.
As you well know, each PCS is like a new stage where you have to rediscover yourself. Artis discovered the Enneagram herself from a podcast when she was facing a challenging time. She felt seen and knew she needed to share. She believes “the Enneagram will find you when you’re ready for it.” Maybe now is that time for you?!
The Enneagram is a personality typology with nine archetypes of how we exist in the world. Artis explains, “Enneagram takes things one step deeper than other models, looking at motivations as to WHY you think, act, and feel the way you do.”
As a military spouse, awareness of yourself can help so much in understanding how you relate to others. A huge advantage of doing this work is becoming an inner observer. Artis suggests there is freedom in “Pause. Notice. Allow.” She beautifully describes what this looks like. If you feel upset or triggered by something, pause. Notice where you feel it in your body. Do you feel warmth in your chest? Tightening of your throat? Say it out loud. And then, instead of focusing on the offense, allow it to move through you and learn from the experience.
Artis offers another helpful phrase, “OF COURSE.” As in, “Of course, I got upset when they did that, it’s in my personality.” This gives you forgiveness and compassion with no judgment. Artis encourages “compassionate curiosity.”
These tools can be so helpful in getting through everyday challenges. Artis points out how this level of self-awareness shows you that “you don’t have to fight with everyone; we can just not agree.” She shares 5 little words that will give you freedom – “Oh wow. I see that differently.” Imagine how helpful that phrase could be in our world right now!
Artis shared so many helpful tips that you can use, even if you don’t know your Enneagram type. She cautioned against many of the online quizzes available for typing but suggested The Narrative Enneagram quiz. Artis offers personalized typing sessions and is building a Mission Identity community.
We are all craving connection – both with others and ourselves. These Day 1 conversations offered practical tips and tools for both.
Day 1 of the 2025 InDependent Wellness Summit: Cultivating Connections was presented by the USO! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! More recaps will be coming each day this week, so stay tuned!
ABOUT KELLY
Kelly Wevley is a retired Navy spouse, mom of four, and a holistic wellness advocate. She left her career as a CPA to raise her children and support her community. As she searched for answers to help her own family, Kelly dove into the mental wellness space and became a Certified Mental Wellness Coach. Kelly continues to explore holistic healing modalities and understands that our bodies are made to heal. She shares her journey on Instagram and Facebook. Kelly is a member of the InDependent Funding & Outreach committee.
