The same way you do a wellness check-up at the doctor, having regular check-ins with your spouse is a wonderful way to ensure you have a healthy marriage and catch anything before it becomes a bigger problem. With TDYs, deployments, regularly interrupted plans, and all of the other stressors that come with military life, it’s easy to forget that we need to be intentional about our relationships.
To celebrate the 2nd Annual Military Marriage Day, we created a Spouse Wellness Check to help facilitate this important conversation between you and your spouse. Enjoy the free download at the bottom of this post!
SET THE STAGE
Before asking these six questions, plan the setting. Do you want to ask them while enjoying a nice picnic outside? Will you go for a walk or ask these questions on a date night? You want to have this conversation when you can focus on your spouse and actively listen to their answers. Make the setting enjoyable or special, because you want to do this more than once throughout your marriage.
It’s also important to set expectations. If this is the first time you’re doing a spouse wellness check, you or your spouse might not be used to answering questions like these or being vulnerable. Discuss how you will listen to each other and what you both need in order to feel comfortable sharing your answers.
SIX QUESTIONS TO ASK DURING A SPOUSE WELLNESS CHECK
1. How are you feeling emotionally? Physically? Etc.
2. How can I support your well-being?
3. What can we change in our family’s routines to support you?
4. What are some ways we can ensure we’re working as a team?
5. What is an activity that you would like us to do together?
6. What is something I did this week to make you feel loved?
The first time you ask these questions might be difficult, especially if one person is feeling less supported or more nervous. However, the more you check in with each other and your relationship, the easier it will become. We hope you have fun with this and let us know if you find it helpful!
Evie King is the executive director of InDependent, a non-profit on a mission to make wellness accessible and create opportunities for all military spouses to thrive through friendship, accountability, and inspiration. She loves working with the InDependent team and believes strongly that military spouse wellness matters. When she’s not working on InDependent, you’ll find Evie working as a recruiter for a women-owned government contracting firm, acting in plays, trying new recipes, and exploring where the Army sent them.