Four profound yet doable relationship strategies emerged from my interview with Corie Weathers, licensed counselor, during the week leading up to Military Marriage Day.
THERE’S MARRIAGE AND THEN THERE’S THE BUSINESS OF MARRIAGE
When it comes to married life, it is best we remember to differentiate the two. Imagine how frustrated a partner can feel when expecting to kindle the relational side of things but is met with nothing but the brass tacks of running a life together. Corie shares with us a few tips on making sure both partners show up on the same page.
4 SIMPLE WAYS TO NAVIGATE MARRIED LIFE AS A TEAM
1. Keep business and pleasure separate.
2. Schedule business talks like budgets, logistics, day-to-day operations, etc. just like you would any non-marriage meeting. Find a time and stick to the agenda.
3. Rewards never hurt anyone. Why make budgets boring or confrontational when you can encourage your partner to show up prepared and present by offering a reward at the end?
4. Put a percentage value on where you are at. Phrases like “I’m done” or “I’m stressed” help create a positive system of communication with your partner when paired with a percentage. Try a statement like this next time you are checking in with your spouse: “I’m at 30% right now mentally and physically.” By inserting a percentage value, your partner gets a clearer picture of how much you can handle and may intuitively step in to help rather than making any false assumptions. Go a step further by adding in how to help. “I’m at [insert %], mentally. If I could step outside for ten minutes while you start dinner prep, I think I can come back refreshed and in a better mood.”
Clear, effective, and simple. As partners, it is not our jobs to judge how much each other can handle, but to honor where we each are and help navigate life as a team.
To learn more, watch my half-hour interview with Corie. And to keep these ideas and conversation starters fresh, print out our Military Marriage Day Wellness Guide.
ABOUT SAMANTHA
Samantha Peterson is the executive director of InDependent, a non-profit on a mission to make wellness accessible and create opportunities for all military spouses to thrive through friendship, accountability, and inspiration. She is a storyteller, writing for publications like Military Families Magazine, We Are The Mighty, and Legacy Magazine. She’s a travel schooling mom to three wild boys seeking local adventure surrounding each duty station. Together with her family, they’re inspiring other military families to explore their lives together.
