The Art of Advocating for Yourself | The MilSpo's Guide to Self-Care

bf337492a0864d5a8d1619941820aa93.jpg

“Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is believing you are worthy of the trip."  -Maya Angelou

Do you ever feel anxious because you are being pulled in many directions, but none of these directions take you to where you would like to go?

At the end of a busy day, do you feel like you’ve accomplished a lot for everyone else, but not for yourself? Maybe you feel a slight tinge of resentment because you are always taking care of everybody else’s needs… and you rarely take care of yours.

Do you feel uncomfortable advocating for what you want? Are you still putting your needs on the back burner?

My name is Olivia, I'm a proud veteran Army wife. I have plenty of letters after my name (MBA, MA, CCP, etc.), but that doesn’t really matter, because during all of those years of achieving degrees and titles, I was never once taught one of life’s most crucial lessons to happiness: How to advocate for myself.

From working at one of the largest HR consulting firms in the world, to Latin America's largest Development Bank, and later holding a senior compensation role at an Ivy League institution, my work has led me to market price thousands of positions, reviewing countless resumes, recommending salaries for all level of employees. Over the years, I've observed time and time again how women are fierce when it comes to advocating for our families, our friends and our causes, but when it comes to ourselves and our salaries, we either don't know what we are worth, or we don't feel comfortable enough to ask for it.

This is why I started Salary Coaching for Women - To teach females how to advocate for what they want.

Not advocating or negotiating for ourselves has far-reaching implications that we rarely consider: it increases our stress levels and anxiety, even heart disease. It leads us to accumulate resentment and hurts our ego. We become angry and dissatisfied and very unhappy in the long run.

During this month of "The MilSpo’s Guide to Self-Care," we will learn how you can develop your own strategy to advocate and negotiate for what you want — from negotiating your salary to everyday things such as gym memberships. While we will be focusing on negotiating from the female perspective, men can also benefit from what we will learn. It would certainly give them a better understanding as to how women operate and perhaps even help them relate better with them.

register button
register button

During the month of February we will discuss:

  • How to know exactly what you want, know why you want it, and know your walk away point.
  • Being aware that expectations drive behavior.
  • Putting your investigative skills to work… what you don’t know can hurt you.
  • Re-framing the problem and increase the size of the pie- there’s always more pie!
  • ASK: Ready, set, engage! 

In addition, I’ll provide you with helpful resources along the way.

My Book Recommendations:

women dont ask wide
women dont ask wide

Women Dont Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation--and Positive Strategies for Change by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever

Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges by Amy Curry

(Purchases using the links above will help InDependent cover administrative costs for this program at no extra cost to you!)

Group Coaching Session:


Wednesday, February 17 via Google Hangouts on Air at 8 p.m. EST
. An email reminder will go out to all registrants Sunday, February 14.

Space will be limited. First come, first served. Session will be recorded and emailed to those who register to attend.

Peer-to-Peer Discussion and Meet-Up:

Join the conversation in the InDependent | Virtual private Facebook group. Here we will spark conversations and continue sharing online and local resources. Plus, each local community group will host an in-person gathering at the end of the month where you’ll have an opportunity to meet like-minded spouses.

register button
register button
BlogOlivia Jaras